Memory Lane: Empty Nest

Below is an article I wrote in 2008 when we were launching our youngest out of the nest. I recently ran across it and felt it all resonate again as I find myself adjusting once again to change.

My husband and I are two weeks away from fully moving our youngest child out of “the nest.” I find myself somewhere between excitement and apprehension—excited because I trust that God is her Father and confident we’ve done everything possible to equip her for happiness and fulfillment. Yet apprehensive because, honestly, our lives are changing in a significant way.

Back in the early 1990s, I read a book titled Changepoints by Joyce Heatherly. Its message about the normalcy of change, yet our natural resistance to it, resonated deeply with me. A few years later, I discovered one of my all-time favorite books, Who Moved My Cheese? by Johnson and Blanchard. It’s a quick but impactful read, emphasizing that change can either be a blessing or a challenge—it all depends on our perspective.

Did you catch that? It all depends on OUR perspective.

Change is inevitable. What truly matters is how I choose to perceive and respond to it—my attitude and mindset.

Some changes bring joy and are easy to embrace. My attitude in these cases is usually optimistic, marked by enthusiasm and readiness. However, some changes are more challenging or even painful. These are the ones that truly reveal our character and what lies within our hearts.

Ecclesiastes has become my comfort book when facing difficult transitions. Ecclesiastes 1:9 encourages me, reminding me that, “What has been will be again; what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun.” This passage reassures me that everything I face has been faced before; there are no surprises with God.

Chapter 3 further comforts me, teaching that there is a time for everything. Times to laugh, times to cry, times to speak, and times to remain silent. And indeed, there is a day we welcome our children into our homes and a day we let them spread their wings.

From the experience of sending our first child off, and now preparing for our second and final child to leave, I’ve learned a few important lessons:

1. Be honest with yourself. Acknowledge your grief and sadness, but don’t dwell there.
2. Talk openly and honestly with your spouse.
3. Allow yourself the grace and patience to adjust to the change.
4. Do things that bring you joy—activities just for you. As mothers, we often sacrifice our desires; now is the time to indulge yourself.
5. If the sadness lingers or becomes overwhelming, seek support. Talk with a women’s ministry leader, pastor, or Christian counselor.

So, armed with the love and strength of our Heavenly Father, we will soon move our precious “little bird” 500 miles away into her own nest. I will count my blessings, grateful for modern technology that keeps her just a text message away!